The Way They Should Go

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

NIV

This short ancient proverb from the Hebrew Scriptures captures the importance of parenting.

The proverb is concise, yet gives much wisdom about caring for a child. The proverb indicates that the lessons learned as a child will stay with them their entire life, the parents have influence in the way a child turns out, and parenting must be intentional.

Lessons learned will stay with a child over their entire life. Quite an overwhelming thought. So, if that is the case, how do you teach lessons the most effective way? How are children going to learn these lessons?

The way that all children will learn what they see as normal is what they experience. Children are going to imitate what they see. The way their home life operates is the way they assume all homes operate until they learn otherwise. Even when they see otherwise, it is going to be the natural tendency to behave under the expectations given at home.

Prepare to be imitated.

What is a parent to do? Take action.

If your child is going to imitate you, make sure they see you doing what you want them to be doing. This could be simple; if you want your child to show respect to others then imitate that. Going the extra step, and displaying love for community is intentional parenting. An example of this could be taking your son with you to participate in service activities.

Telling a child what is good is appropriate. Showing them what is good is love.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “follow me as I follow Christ.” Parents should operate with the same thought in mind to set their children “on the way they should go.”

My Favorite Basketball Coach

My favorite basketball coach recently passed away.  Granted, I did not have many of them (more on that later.) I attended his visitation mostly because of my relationship with his grandson, but I could not help but think of his coaching.

As I was waiting in line to share my condolences with the family I realized what was so great about Coach Willard. He made you feel so good about yourself, you played better than you really were. Or at least felt like you were better than you really were. In fact, I remember a come from behind victory in the championship game. I am certain it is because of his belief in us and positivity. He did not lead you to believe anything irrational, he just made little league basketball players feel good about themselves.  I came to this realization because I was not very good, but I never got that impression from him.

I did, however, learn that not long after Willard was my coach. Reflecting on that is what made me realize just how good a coach he was.

Willard Davis was a good man who cared about kids, and he used his way–basketball– to make a difference in their life.

So many years later, I have learned the most important lesson from him. To build up and make people feel good about themselves. It lasts a lot longer than shooting drills.

 

Punch Brothers Punch

Punch Brothers Punch a Mark Twain short story. Also, the inspiration for the name of my favorite band. If you have talked to me in the last year you have probably heard me talk about Punch Brothers.

Punch Brothers consists of 5 musicians. Chris Thile (mandolin), Noah Pikelny (banjo), Chris Eldridge (guitar), Paul Kowert (upright bass) and Gabe Witcher (violin).

I was first introduced at a free (for me) show of theirs at the Carson Performing Arts Center. I dug them. Bought an album. A few months later their latest album came out. Loved it. Went to see them live in Nashville then Memphis.

I highly recommend their album Antifogmatic.

Although you will not hear this song on the album, I share it with you. Enjoy.

You Don’t Own Me

Last post I talked about renovations. This post I want to talk about change.

I have natural tendencies. Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. Some of them are just who I am. But I do not have to let the tendencies control how I behave. Sometimes a natural tendency of mine keeps me from performing to the level I need to. So, I am learning that although it is uncomfortable to go against my natural tendency, I have the ability to do that. I have a new “self-talk” phrase. No, I do not talk back to it. It is short and helps me remember to step up and leave my comfort zone. Still learning to do this, but writing it out is helpful.

In closing, natural tendencies, you don’t own me.

Renovating

Erin and I purchased a house built in 1922. Since we have bought the house many things have been done to it to improve the aesthetics, livability, personal preference, etc. Throughout the process I have said a number of times, we should be taking before and after pictures. This is so we can see how far we have come and how much “better” the house is now.

Hopefully, we are in a constant state of renovating our self. We should be working to improve how we behave and to accomplish things in our life. Stewarding our time and money biblically is a good place to start. Throughout this process we should use tools such as scripture, books, and people to help mold us into the person we want to be.

So, is it important to have “pictures” of where we were and where we are now to remind us of our growth? I think so. How do we do that. Maybe journaling and being able to look back at how we have changed. Maybe talking to a close friend or mentor. This seems important in making sure we stay on the right track.

In closing, we should always be renovating ourselves. We are never fully there. C.S. Lewis once said, “there is no greater sign of confirmed pride than when one thinks they are humble, enough.” I see that applying in all parts of our life. To help us see where we are in that journey we should have an accountability partner or mentor.

Pick up your tools and renovate.

Just Missed

Personality Tests

For several years I was annoyed at personality tests. I think the main reason is because people used them to define themselves, excuse behavior, and avoid doing things because it is not their “personality.” I have recently decided I am not against the personality test in general, just the way they are often interpreted.

I guess a simple way of saying this is “personality tests exist for man, not man for the personality test.” We can use it as a tool, as a starting point, but we are not bound by what learn in a personality test. Or our personalities in general.

I recently talked to someone who said, “but I cannot ask him to change that way he treats me, it is in his personality.” I responded by telling her that just because a behavior is natural or a tendency, it does not mean we have to act that way.

This is my frustration with the misuse of personality tests.  Basic tendencies are discovered and behaviors are justified by them.

Happy New Year!

Alright, I am going to join in with countless other people and resolve to increase blogging. This is in addition to other resolutions. I think I have more resolutions this year than in other years combined.

I am going to try and resuscitate my blog up to two posts per week. If for nothing else, as a place to reflect and practice the discipline of writing–whether or not I have any readers. The content  will probably have a little of everything; including: spiritual, societal observations, life updates and maybe even some humor.

Here’s to a productive 2011…

Doxology

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!

“Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?”

“Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?”

For from him and through him and to him are all things.

To him be the glory forever!

Amen.

Christmas During Wartime